Solitare!

   Some people might see black jack, poker, or even go-fish as the primary card games. In my mind, however, solitare is the best card game in the world. Lately it seems I have been "titling"  things as, "The best in the world," but this game really is. It tests your mind by making you remember cards, recognize color, and create strategies to collect cards. My friend and I are both fairly into this game, and we have even discussed starting a club. But for the time being, we are very competitive. Solitare is probably one of the things I'm most addicted to at the moment, and I encourage everyone to play this game.

A Little Self-Rant on My Self-Deprecation

First, I'd like to talk about how I know what I'm bringing upon myself by writing this. I feel that half of the pain of depression is the depression itself; the other half is dealing with the people around you. You can't simply tell people that you're depressed. Otherwise, you just get an empty lecture that doesn't really mean anything to you about optimism, happiness, etc. In reality, you can't really stop depression. It's an all-consuming void, sometimes altering your logic in the case where I seem to want to cause even more harm to myself. At least, this is my case. I know that everyone’s just going to tell me to stop harming myself like this as if you can just flip a switch and end it. Heh… It’s really that easy, isn’t it? That’s why I don’t let anyone know or try to help me. It’s just as Hyperbole and a Half describes it- It’s like I’ve got a pair of dead fish, but everyone ignores that fact and tries to go find them or something. So please, don’t talk to me about this. I know what you’re going to try to say, and I honestly am not really interested.

My Little Alien

Since I was around eleven years old, I've had what's called a "Ganglion Cyst" on the top of my left wrist. The first time I noticed it, I thought it was a bone, but it clearly wasn't. So I went to the doctor. 

WARNING.. slightly graphic descriptions and images below. Click 'read more' if you don't have a weak stomach. 

Districts Results

FUN IS INFINITE

Spring Break Overview: Hawaii- Coolnesses and Criticisms (Part 1)

If you read my previous post, you know already that I was over at Hawaii visiting our grandmother (or, as we call her, Obaachan). However, while this is a common occurrence, no one knows what these kinds of trips are like. Sometimes, I plan to bring back souvenirs of sorts. But otherwise, what we actually do there is up to everyone's guessing. Maybe we visit all the great tourist destinations, like Waikiki beach and Diamond Head? In reality, what we do there is a combination of touristy stuff and more mundane activities, like house maintenance. So, to start up the final leg of school year after spring break (and it couldn't have come any sooner), I'll be sharing today as in-deph as possible what our trips are like. This can be both a look at island life, and the answer to what really goes on those few days when I'm out of school for those reading who know who I am. (Thank you guys for not spoiling who I am, by the way. We're not supposed to be known to the internet)

I recently invested in a book, simply because I'd heard so many things about it, called "Wreck This Journal". It has become a really cool thing to spend time working on, because it's entire purpose is to help you become more creative and  sort of "color out of the lines" by wrecking the book itself in many ways. It is a very eccentric concept and I have enjoyed throwing it out of multiple windows, sleeping with it, showering with it, and carrying it with me everywhere I go. It is really a good purchase if you have anyone in need of a gift, especially if they need a sense of inspiration. I got mine online for about $15. 

Proficiency Grading

    Proficiency grading has taken over the traditional system of letter grading. This brings some large improvements but also some major flaws. Proficiency grading is meant to help colleges get a good estimate of what you know. It helps teachers stay unbiased towards their students too. A minor help is that it lets students see their GPA in real time instead of on their report card when it is too late to fix it. With these positive changes come some problems too. Before proficiency grading, there was a deadline for every assignment and if you missed that assignment, you failed it, with no make ups. This sudden change to proficiency grading also affects how students view their grades.

My Dream Job

 Everyone asks what I want to do when I'm older. They say everyone has a dream job even if they don't want to share it. Well, I don't think that's true. I have no idea what I want to do.

Why is there so much pressure to know what you want to do when your older? I have dreams, and they are for the future, but they are not for after high school. One of my biggest dreams is to become a level 10 in gymnastics. That is a pretty far goal and even my parents don't know it is that possible. Especially because our head coach is going to move, we just don't know how soon. This is my dream, I don't care if I am a senior in high school when I get there.

As for my future, I wish there wasn't so much pressure on my shoulders to decide what I want to do. This week we are forecasting for next year. Everyone says to pick classes (in high school) that will help me for college and help my future. What classes am I supposed to pick if I don't know what my future will hold? 

Hopefully my mind will make up what it wants to do before its too late.

So I've Figured Out What I Want to Do...

My sister wants to be an engineer. My dad was a lawyer. My mom is a doctor. But all I want to do is own a coffee shop.



I know dreams are not always supposed to be reached: they are something to hold on to and to hope for until reality catches up with you. I used to have lots of those dreams, like being an Olympic gymnast or inventing something that would change the world forever. Maybe winning the Nobel peace prize. But the thing is, my sister will reach her dream, she will become an engineer. At least I know she has the capability. And that's when I realized; if she can achieve hers, why shouldn't I get mine?



I want to create a space that is inviting. Like being wrapped in a warm fuzzy blanket in front of the fireplace after being outside in a snowstorm. A place where people go when they need to think, or they need to escape. Because life is stress, and if I can create something that helps just one person, I want to do it. There will be big armchairs and fluffy pillows and lights strung all across the walls that are always on. A safe haven, that's what I want it to feel like.



But then I feel like there will always be someone going "Wow, she wasted her intelligence and her opportunity to really impact the world on a coffee shop." It may sound silly, but the way you touch peoples' lives is your impact on the world. A smile as you hand them a cup of hot chocolate, even just providing a place of peace. I've realized that the only thing I need to be is happy. I don't need to be another person's idea of success, I don't need to be a fancy engineer or a doctor or a lawyer.



I just need to be me.



And I am that coffee shop.

Hawaii

Every year, at least once or twice, we visit Hawaii to check on our Obachan. Lately, many of our different traditions have been shut down (Such as the time they shut down the awesome geek store, Toys & Joys), but we always have something on our agenda. Our agenda consists of this:

• Visit Waihola Shave-Ice
• Visit Ala-Moana Center and get stuff
• Visit Kahala Mall and visit a few places (Unfortunately, the Barnes & Nobel here closed)
• Visit the beach (Thank goodness the water is warmer than that of ours)
• Anything new our parents come up with
• Get malasadas at Leonard's
• Just sit indoors and play video games
• Drive around the island

New Dog

     New dogs are like babies, there always hungry, crying for attention almost all day, and they always are having to go to the bathroom. But also like a baby. there full of joy and bring everybody happiness. My grandpa just acquired a Chocolate lab and it the most awesome dog you could ever imagine. But like any new dog, it takes a little bit of training to get it to behave right. The first habit the dog has we have been trying to break is getting it to quit biting. It likes to nibble on feet, hands and whatever will fit in its mouth. I like this dog because it has such a happy, playful spirit. it will play for ever if you continue to throw a ball or stick. Now this dog has a lot of good influences. my grandpa currently has to yellow labs to kind of mentor it. And I find this dog as a very good example of life, how sometimes you just have to follow the ones who know more than you and have experienced life how it is. Sometimes you need good role-models to mold your own life in to. I find this dog as an example on how some people should live their lives.

Baseball

The baseball season is inching closer. The weather is getting hotter, the sweet smell of the flowers blooming means its time to get practicing. I know that some of you might be thinking it's to early to be practicing already, but it is never to early for baseball. Baseball is a time that you get to spend with your friends and to have fun. baseball isn't just a sport its a passion. You have to want to play the game. If that means you have to start doing private lessons or find a friend to play with, then do it. You can even practice by yourself by doing simple drills. Yesterday was the first day of the baseball practice for the high school students. The only thing is, I couldn't go because 8th graders can't play or they will lose a year of eligibility. This makes me mad because if you attend a high school you should be able to play high school sports if you have all the requirements. Even if the rules will not let 8th graders play at least let them practice with the high school team.  

Dimensional Travel Log 007

If you have found this log, then you may have noticed how damaged it is at this point. Logs 5 and 6 have been lost, after fleeing from the beings mentioned in log 4. I may not have much room for any more logs, unfortunately- the damage to this journal is so extensive, many of the pages in the back have either been torn out or rendered unusable.

It has been many years since I have left my home and traveled across dimensions. Figures that after all this time, my device has finally failed me. I had finally located the coordinates of my homeworld, but circumstances had messed with my device and threw me into the fabric between. I was left drifting for what I estimate to be 6 weeks, before I woke up in a strange location. The room I woke up in seemed dead, with all the life drained from the surfaces. No color, just white. In the back of the room stood a crystal, however shattered. In fact, the crystal was shatterING- It was half-exploded, particles floating in the air, as if they were stranded in time. Could this be what happens to worlds when they die? I decided to head upstairs to try to find out more of my surroundings.

A girl with storms in her eyes

They think I am small
I am insignificant
I am careless
I am odd…
They think I am not competition.



I am actually strong willed
I am determined
I am prudent
I am my own person…
I am actually a force to be reckoned with.



In photos I may be brown eyed
May have dark brown hair
May not be flawless
May not look blank…
so they think I am not competition



I am actually a girl with storms in her eyes
A girl with flaws
A girl with thoughts
A girl with a mind of her own…
I am actually a girl with a past that she is not afraid of,
 Looking to a future she can see.